


Armistice

by BadAtPennames



Series: Entrenched [4]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, M/M, Pining Levi, Resolution, WWI setting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-23
Updated: 2016-03-23
Packaged: 2018-05-28 07:18:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6319858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BadAtPennames/pseuds/BadAtPennames
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At the end of the war, Levi is faced with the question of how to move forward with his life.  His entanglement with Eren only makes their impending separation that much harder to bear.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Armistice

**Author's Note:**

> IMPORTANT! This story is a direct continuation of the story Siege, set several months later. This has several references to events that take place in Siege, so I would recommend reading that first, found here: [Siege](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1128611/chapters/2276117)
> 
> If there's anything I learned throughout this series, other than a shit ton of stuff about life during WWI, it's that at some point I realized instead of naming emotions, i.e.: he gazed at him with eyes full of affection, I describe the _physical_ way their features and body language shifts: as he gazed at him, the set of his shoulders relaxed and the corners of his eyes softened.
> 
> For the longest time, I didn't notice I was doing it. The funny part is what finally tipped me off was when I realized I was making the facial expressions I was trying to describe as I wrote.

Levi checked his gear over, making sure it was all snapped, buckled, and buttoned properly, doing it more by feel than sight in the dim light of late evening.  He had disassembled his rifle earlier, stripping down the parts and cleaning them individually.  Then he brushed the gunpowder and inevitable build-up of dirt off, re-oiled everything and put it back together.  He did every few days to avoid having the weapon jam unexpectedly in the middle of a skirmish, an outcome that could decide whether he kept his life or his enemy theirs.

“Ready?” Erd asked when Levi appeared to finish, his breath puffing white in the chilled November air.  Their exhales hung in the night like specters, dissipating silently as if they’d never been. 

He gave a short nod, then walked over to the wooden boards pretending to be steps and climbed up and out of the trench.  His squad quickly followed.

Once they were all up, Levi unslung his rifle from his back and held it in the ready carry position, ready to pull it up to his shoulder and aim in an instant.  A single forward twitch of fingers held up in the air and they headed out across the stark landscape of no man’s land.

Navigating their way over the coiled concertina wire was always a challenge, but they had done it enough times that it was almost second nature, holding it down and pushing it apart in tandem until the squad made it though.

They moved noiselessly through the space between trenches, hidden from the moonlight by heavy cloud cover.  Levi had never experienced anywhere so eerily still as the expanse between.  It was as though they had been transported to an alien world, lifeless and barren with the whisper of something imminent and dangerous itching at their ears.

It was a few minutes before they came across another wire barrier, signaling the arrival at the outermost edge of the enemy trenches.  Levi felt the breath reenter his chest, like he had just reemerged from below the surface of watery depths, a deadly sea creature on the hunt.  They had found signs of life.  Now they would destroy it. 

They were more cautious this time through the wire, impossibly silent as they maneuvered their way through.  Hands steadier on coiled lines of iron and steel than they had any right to be.

Gunther was almost through when the corner of his pack snagged on a small blade, tugging the wire forward with a light metal rustle when he tried to take another step.

They froze, listening for a moment, and Levi cursed inside his head, noticing that when Gunther had pulled the wire, two sharpened triangles had torn across the back of Oluo’s wrist, who was currently holding it down.

To his credit, the man didn’t react, even when blood seeped out thickly from the cuts.

Erd had already moved over, deftly unhooking Gunther who quickly stepped free.  Carefully, Oluo let the last of the wire go, slowly raising his hands as if guiding it back into place.  He finally glanced at his wrist, grabbed a mostly clean handkerchief from his pocket and tied it around the cuts with Erd’s help.

When they moved forward again, they were in low crouches to the ground, soundless.  They could make out the lip of the trench in the dark just ahead of them and Levi slipped a knife out of his boot.  A second later and he slid over the edge like a stream of water, dropping down with a gentle tap.

He startled two soldiers, but stepped close and silenced one, while Erd appeared behind the other, dispatching him.  They only had a few minutes to cause as much damage as possible before they were supposed to head back.

Once everyone was down, Gunther removed his pack, opening it up so he could distribute the grenades inside.

Levi took his share, waiting for Erd to grab his, and they split off to head down the corridor behind them.  They quickly came across their first dugout, threw down a grenade and moved on without hardly slowing down.  A few seconds later and the muffled explosion behind alerted the enemy camp to their presence.  In the opposite direction, two more sounded.

The pair rounded a corner and saw three more excavated holes leading below ground.  They tossed their explosives down like delivered newspapers.  In the next stretch of the corridor Levi saw a soldier’s head climbing out of a dug out and he stopped long enough to kick him in the face, shoving a grenade past the startled man to drop down the chute below.  He slung his rifle out with one arm, spinning it until he gripped it with both hands and sent the stock of the weapon down onto the man’s head, dazing him. 

He and Erd ran off before the man could recover, the dull blast of subterranean detonations behind them.  He didn’t know if the soldier had managed to climb free or not and he didn’t have time to worry about it.

They were down to their last grenades as they entered the next section of the passage, Levi quickly depositing his remaining few.  He turned to Erd, just in time to watch as the man tossed his explosive at the darkened area of earth indicating a hole only to see the grenade bounce back towards them.

Erd turned wide eyes to him, realizing instantly that he had mistook shadows for a dugout in the poor light.

Levi didn’t hesitate, he dove forward, grabbed the grenade and tossed it into corridor ahead of them, tugging Erd back towards a corner.  They threw their faces towards the earthen walls, arms protectively shielding their heads as the explosion hurled dirt and rocks at their backs.

Levi felt his teeth rattle.

While his ears were still ringing, they pulled themselves up and out, not caring for stealth as their feet pounded the earth to the concertina wire.  Erd unhooked a pair of bolt cutters from his belt.  On their way over they had been concerned that the loud clicks of metal snapping apart could be heard by anyone close, but now their concern was escape.

The barrier fell away with a final snip just as the gunshots started.  They threw themselves low, crawling along as fast as they could, alert for the sound of pursuit.

There was none.

It was with relief that Levi reached the edge of his own trench.  Gunther and Oluo waiting close by as together they navigated their own wire barrier.

When their feet hit the bottom of the trenches, the rush of adrenaline began to leech out of their systems, leaving exhaustion behind in its wake.  They remained listening long enough to ensure there would be no retaliation.  Only then did they notice the hammerings of their hearts.

“I’ll make the report,” Erd said when they were all safely surrounded by walls of earth.

“Thanks.”

Levi turned away and began to head towards the funk hole where he had left his pack.  He was surprised to see Eren waiting near the opening when he got there.

As soon as the younger man’s eyes landed on Levi, he sprang towards him.  Eren’s hand settled on his shoulder, gripping and then sliding slightly before clutching again, as if he wasn’t quite sure what it was he wanted to do.

Eren looked him over, brows drawn slightly, his other hand raising to twist in the front of Levi’s uniform. 

“I heard you went on a raid,” the younger soldier said, sounding strangely detached.

“Just got back.”

Eren bit his lip lightly and looked away.

“Are you okay?” he asked the wall of dirt next to him.  Levi tilted his head slightly confused with Eren’s actions.  His eyes swept the taller form, gliding up the tense shoulders before him, the mouth that was too carefully relaxed, the slight tightness at the corners of green eyes and between dark brows.

Levi’s heart skipped a beat when it hit him that Eren had been waiting, worried for him.

“I’m fine.”

“Good,” Eren replied, looking back at him again.  He looked relieved.  Levi’s heart seemed too big in his chest suddenly, squashing all his other organs.  He wanted to pull the younger man to him and whisper reassurances and endearments into his ear, but he knew Eren would pull away.  He had to tamp down on his heart, smash it down flat.  Even if Eren knew how he felt, it didn’t mean that it was something the younger man readily accepted.

So Levi gave a gentle pat to the forearm of the hand still clutching his uniform and gently disentangled himself.  Whatever swell of unwanted emotions and concern that was building between them dissipated as the older man moved away.

“Are you coming in?” Levi asked as he stepped past Eren to the entrance of the funk hole.  The uneasy charge in the atmosphere relaxed and it was just the two of them, comfortable and at ease with each other.

“Aren’t you supposed to buy me dinner first?  Just what kind of guy do you think I am?”

Levi smiled faintly, already half crawled inside.

“I was actually thinking more about how cold it’s getting and thought you would make an excellent stove.” 

“Well if you’re just going to use me for my body, I suppose that’s okay,” Eren said, climbing in after.

They crawled along for a short minute, groping about in the darkness until the space around them widened and Levi slid a hand into his breast pocket, pulling out a box of matches.  A few seconds later, he had a lantern lit, which he placed on a small rusted shelf of metal whose previous incarnation had been a footstep on a horse wagon.

Eren glanced around in the small space.

“I see you made some improvements.”

“I found it necessary to commandeer some lumber.”

Levi had claimed this particular haven a few weeks ago, digging it out until it was a rounded edge square, sides roughly the length of a man.  The ceiling he extended up until someone could sit comfortably without having to duck their head.  The walls were shored up with lumber and he had lined the ceiling with corrugated sheets of metal that no one else had yet found a use for.  He had taken a few boards and used them as beams, pinning the metal sheets in place and hopefully preventing a cave-in.

Although he wouldn’t have admitted it, Levi was most proud of the smoke stack that he had appropriated from a busted stove, which was about the only salvageable part after serving for years feeding countless soldiers.  He had painstakingly used a hand auger to burrow in from the roof on top.  Then he had worked the stack through, rotating it back and forth, cussing every time it caught on a rock or a root and he had to pull it back out so he could get the path clear.  Eventually he had installed his chimney, using a final scrap of sheet metal bent in a ‘V’ to cap it off from rain, while still allowing airflow. 

The result was a mostly dry, cramped little room that smelled like damp roots and tobacco.

It was luxurious.

“This is really nice.  You have this whole space to yourself?”

“Hm.”

“I’m moving in.”

Levi’s eyes widened and his heart thumped soundly against his chest.  It didn’t mean anything, it _didn’t_.  Eren said things to him all the time off-handedly and joking, things that pierced through Levi like sabers leaving him reeling and gasping for the breath he hadn’t realized he lost.

Rather than let it show, let it matter, he gave a smirk softened with the edge of exhaustion.

“I did all the hard work and you think you can waltz in here and claim ownership of the place?”

Eren turned the full force of his grin on Levi, eyes sparkling in the candlelight.

“Well, yeah.”

Levi was melting.  He was certain of it.  When Eren smiled at Levi like that, the older man had no defenses.

“Fine.”

Eren’s grin grew wider as he shifted his pack off his shoulders.  They both unlaced their boots and pulled them off, setting them neatly near the entrance.

Levi suddenly felt completely drained.  It usually didn’t take long after the fury of a fight for his body to decide it needed to shift from that heightened state of action and awareness to a state of rest.  He leaned back heavily against the rough wood holding up the wall.

Eren was in the process of removing his uniform top, revealing a well-worn undershirt beneath.

Levi’s gaze drowsily followed the lean muscled outline of the other man as it was exposed.

He couldn’t quite stifle the yawn that escaped him while Eren folded up his top.

“Tired?” he asked with a warm smile.

“Extremely,” Levi answered.

The younger man quickly unrolled his sleeping bag and opened it up before reaching over to Levi’s and doing the same.  When he was done, he crawled over and lay down on top of his.  Levi followed, eyes sliding from a narrow waist up the defined ‘V’ shape of the other soldier’s torso.

He quickly settled next to Eren.

“You look like you’re about to pass out.”

“I am.”

Levi watched as Eren’s gaze stuck on him, warm and humored.  Suddenly his mouth was full of things he had no right to ask for, burning on the tip of his tongue. 

Before Levi really realized it, he had his face pushed into the corner of Eren’s neck and shoulder, mouth pressing, then opening as he gently bit down.

“I thought you were tired.”  There was amusement in the tone of his voice, an indulgence reserved just for Levi.

“I am.”  It was muffled and not at all what he wanted to say, but he could feel the exhaustion in his bones and struggled to keep his eyes open, his lids heavy and too warm.

“Then go to sleep.  I’ll still be here when you wake up.”  Just like that, the fight left him, the edge of panic he hadn’t even realized had been creeping over him gone.

Levi hummed an assent as Eren tipped him onto his back and into his open sleeping bag before wrapping him up in it.

-

When Levi woke up, Eren was _not_ there.  He blinked in the gloom, eyes cutting to the short tunnel of the funkhole, the sun’s rays hitting the edges enough to show him where it was.  Levi slipped out of his sleeping bag and pulled his boots on.

He climbed outside to go look for Eren only to find Erd hovering at the entrance.

“I was just about to call for you,” the other man spoke.

“Have you seen Eren?  I’m looking for him.”

Erd paused as he glanced at the short tunnel Levi had just crawled out of, then back to Levi himself.

“You were looking for him in there?” Erd asked, confused, knowing full well that this funkhole Levi had adopted for himself and no one in the company dared to try and dispute that claim.

Levi was saved from answering as Eren appeared around the corner with two steaming tins of coffee and what appeared to be breakfast.

“Oh, you’re up already” he said, ignoring Erd.

“Just woke up.”

“I thought you’d be out for a little longer since you were so tired.”

There was a small, worrying furrow that was beginning to appear between Erd’s eyebrows, like he had been given a complicated math problem to solve.

“You needed me for something?” Levi finally asked Erd as Eren handed him his tin and he lifted the rim to his mouth.

The crease from Erd’s face disappeared as he was snapped back to business.

“Erwin wanted to speak with you.  He said he had big news.”

“I’ll be there in a moment.  I don’t know if I can handle any news from him before breakfast.”

Erd nodded, gave the pair one last speculative look and then left.

“Don’t tell me Erd knows, too,” Eren said when the man was gone.

“I think he just suspects that something is weird.  Nothing specific.  What’s for breakfast?”

“Hot biscuits!  And they even had some sausage that smelled like actual sausage.  I don’t know where they got it from, but I don’t think we should ask questions,” Eren answered excitedly, pulling out what appeared to be paper wrappings from under his arm.

The young soldier quickly squatted down and opened the paper to reveal food that looked surprisingly appetizing.

They ate their breakfast quickly, then finished their coffee.

“Thanks, I have to go,” Levi said, reaching over and giving Eren a quick kiss on the temple.

The younger soldier jolted, eyes widened, but quickly recovered.  Levi did his best to ignore the reaction.  It made him feel like he had sprung a leak and was quickly losing something vital.

“Yeah, see you later.”

-

Levi stepped inside the command bunker to find Erwin standing in the middle of the room, looking for the first time in his life as though he didn’t know what to do.  He was holding a piece of paper as if it was an unknown thing that he couldn’t make sense of.  How long he had been standing there like that was anyone’s guess.

“Levi,” he said, sounding hollow, “the war’s over.”

At first, the enlisted man did not understand the words, as though they were foreign.  Then their meaning sunk in.

“What?”

“It actually ended two days ago.  We just got the message this morning.”  There was a distant quality to Erwin’s voice sounding like the man himself wasn’t really in the room. 

“What do you mean it’s over?  We haven’t accomplished a damn thing, here.  I killed men _last night_ and you’re saying the war was already over?  I buried men in their _sleep_ , Erwin.”  The angered disbelief from Levi’s mouth seemed to snap at Erwin like a rubber band and he came back to himself, the rolling machine of his brain stuttering back to life to churn out plans like chess maneuvers.

“We need to gather up the supplies and return back to the main base.  We’ll get our discharge papers there.  It shouldn’t be more than two or three weeks before we’re all on our way home.”

Now Levi was being pulled from the helpless rage that was building by the gravitating force that was Erwin Smith.  The grounding voice of command helped to settle him, tug him back down.  Levi focused on the conversation.

“Erwin, I don’t have a home.  You know that.”

“Don’t accept your discharge papers.  Stay in the army.”  It was a suggestion that Levi had never considered.

“Is that what you’re going to do?”

There was a pause before a wistful smile settled on the commander’s face.

“…There’s nowhere else I belong.”

It hit Levi then and any remaining anger dissipated.  Erwin didn’t feel like he was about to go home, he felt like he was about to leave it.  In a strange way, Levi understood.  He had come to accept the way life was here.  The world outside was an alien land that no longer made sense.  Not like here in the trenches.  Here he had made a routine, trained a squad, found Eren…

Suddenly Levi’s stomach bottomed out.

Eren was going to go back home. 

Eren was going to leave. 

Levi was going to _lose_ him.

The younger soldier was going to slip away from his outstretched reach, sand spilling through his spread fingers.

He turned and left without a word.

-

Levi must have looked like hell when he got back because Eren quirked a worried eyebrow at him. 

“What happened?”

“War’s over,” Levi said simply.  There wasn’t really any other way to put it, no way he could verbalize everything it meant.

Eren became very still.  He dipped his head down to peer into his coffee. 

“Who won?” He didn’t look up.

“I didn’t ask,” Levi said, just realizing it.  How strange it was that something they had been fighting so hard for, that they were killing for, wasn’t really what was important in the end.  He didn’t know how to orient himself around that fact.

Eren was silent for a long moment.

“I guess it doesn’t really matter, does it?  Whether we did or not I don’t think it would feel like we won anyway.”

Levi made a wordless noise and stepped closer before he stopped.  He wanted to go to Eren, but the younger soldier was only his for the war, wasn’t he?  He had a home to go back to.  He had Mikasa to go back to.

Suddenly Levi needed to think, needed some air.

Could he even feasibly fight for Eren?

He had nothing to offer.  Levi had drifted before the war, no real home or family.  He hadn’t even had steady work. 

“I think I need a moment,” Eren said first, walking past Levi and further into the trenches.

-

Levi didn’t see Eren the rest of that day and he couldn’t quite bring himself to look for him.  Instead he found Gunther, whose steady presence was enough to take his mind off the thin film of dread trying to claw its way up his back.

What tomorrow would bring was more terrifying than slinking across the darkened expanse of no man’s land to the waiting barrel of an enemy's rifle.

Instead he kept his mind on the task at hand, taking inventory of supplies while soldiers built pallets, readying equipment to be shipped back.  There was a low thrum in the air that everyone could feel but refused to acknowledge.

When Levi glanced at the faces around him, most were unusually somber for military men.  He had seen soldiers suddenly breaking down without preamble, an arm thrown across their face sobbing because they were able-bodied and alive at the end of it all.  He didn’t know if it was in relief or survivor’s guilt, but it was probably some homogenous mix of the two.

Others, like himself, threw themselves into tasks to avoid thinking about anything at all. 

At one point he had heard a familiar shout, head whipping round and heart squeezed tight, searching for brown hair that was never covered by a helmet like it should be and fierce green eyes.

His gaze swept over the men in the area, but Eren wasn’t visible among them.

After a moment he turned back to his task, disappointment a cold shot through his body.  Gunther paused long enough to rest a hand on his shoulder, whether he knew what he was steadying Levi over wasn’t clear.  Then the hand was gone and they resumed their inventory.

Levi didn’t see Eren that night either.

That was when it dawned on him that the younger soldier was clearly trying to come to terms with whatever was between them.  Eren didn’t run from his problems, he had learned, but he did have to think them over before he faced them.

Eren had only ever avoided Levi when he had needed to think about Levi.

Now that they were going to go home, their arrangement could no longer be excused as an escape from war.  There was no longer that threat of skulking danger over their heads.  No fear of death from rippling gas clouds or whistling bullets. 

Maybe Eren was even physically distancing himself as a way of informing Levi that they could no longer continue as they were.  That it would easier, somehow a kindness if he left Levi be now rather than reminding him of what he would soon lose forever.

Except Levi had never really thought anyone would describe Eren as ‘kind’.  He was too driven by his own ambitions to take the time to consider the feelings of those around him.

Sometimes Levi loved him for that.

Sometimes he thought he might hate him for that.

He was, after all, the one who usually suffered the most from it.

Days passed without sight nor sound of Eren.  He began to wonder if the younger soldier was eager to go home.  To see Mikasa who, the one time that Levi had met her, had shown she clearly held great affection for Eren.  There was a closeness between them that was obvious to anyone with sight.

He soon found he spent all his time counting supplies and instructing soldiers where to put what with everyone still stumbling around like they were caught in a waking dream.  With each passing day, every breath of the late fall air crisping in his lungs had started to hurt.

There were trucks now, carting away pallets, exhaust staining the air the soldiers breathed and helping to fuel an excitement that Levi dreaded.  As the trenches slowly emptied of supplies and soldiers marching to a larger transport hub it became more and more real.

Levi became more and more desperate.

Gunther grunted with surprise when Levi shoved his clipboard at him, his stub of a pencil clattering somewhere to the ground.

Without a word he walked away.

Gunther didn’t bother to call him back.

-

Eren was glaring heatedly at Jean, fingers curling into fists against his palms, arms tensing to swing when the back of his collar was yanked harshly and he briefly found himself choking.  He spun in the hold, breaking free, attention shifting to this new attacker when his eyes met Levi’s.

There was something feral in that gaze that made whatever Eren was going to say die in his throat.  They stood there for a moment looking at each other, a thrumming tension between them.

Levi’s eyes cut over to Kirschtein.

“Beat it.”

“Yes sir,” Jean said, snapping out a salute despite the fact that Levi wasn’t even an officer and how many years of war should have knocked the habit of an outdoors salute clean out of him. 

“ _Now_.” Levi’s voice took on a dangerous tone that had Jean stumbling over his own feet to leave as fast as he could.

Eren, for his part, hadn’t moved a muscle since he locked onto Levi’s stare.

Levi popped his jaw, eyes raking over the few soldiers in the area that had stopped working to watch Jean and Eren fight and were now hastily turning away from his glare as if there was nothing more in the world they would rather be doing than tearing apart machine gun nests.

Without a word, Levi grabbed the front of Eren’s collar and began to drag him away.

“I’ll just keep an eye on your rifle for you, then,” Connie called after Eren, sounding more like he was promising to take care of a widow than keep Eren’s weapon secured.

As they moved through the trenches no one questioned them, not even when they passed by Shadis, Eren’s direct superior. 

It was unspoken but understood throughout the camp that Eren was Levi’s as much as Gunther, Erd, and Oluo were.  If there seemed to be an undercurrent of something more when it came to Eren, no one dared comment on it.  War was not the time or place to question such things.

Levi stopped when they reached an area that was deserted, this section of the trench having already been cleared out of supplies and soldiers.

Eren found himself shoved up against an embankment, eyes wide.

“Levi?”

“Were you planning to avoid me until we shipped out?”

To Eren’s credit he didn’t deny that he had, in fact, been avoiding him.  Honest to a fault.

“I needed to think.”

“Think faster.”

“I…” he began and then he really looked at Levi.  Levi could feel Eren’s gaze snap to different parts of his face, to the tremor of his own shoulder he was just now himself noticing, back up to his eyes again.

“I’m sorry,” Eren breathed, “I didn’t realize you were upset.”

Part of Levi was caving, arms itching to drag Eren close with the apology, but the bitterness that had turned white-hot over the past few days won out.  There was also a fair amount of incredulity at the notion that Levi _wouldn’t_ be upset.

“I would think I at least deserve a ‘goodbye’ before you go home to Mikasa.”  He couldn’t keep the coldness from his voice if he had wanted to.

Eren’s visage morphed into one of confusion as his mouth soundlessly formed the syllables of her name.  Then it clicked and his face cleared to an expression that was vaguely disturbed.

The older man felt an unexplained prickling of danger emanating from the soldier he currently had pinned.

“Levi,” he began cautiously as if what he was about to say required a great deal of care or restraint, “are you trying to say that you believe Mikasa and I are…” he faltered, his face blushing bright as his mouth twisted oddly.

“Why else would she write you every day if she wasn’t your…” Girlfriend?  Lover?  Fiancée?  He couldn’t form the word.

“Try sister.”  It was the flattest tone Eren had ever used on him.

Levi’s mind blanked, stalling out as his grip on Eren’s collar finally loosened.

Eren looked irritated like he couldn’t quite believe Levi was actually thinking the things that he was.

“She has a different last name than you.” It was true.  Levi had seen on the envelopes that were delivered that her first name was clearly not followed by Jaeger on the return address.

Eren’s eyes turned sympathetic, pained as he looked past Levi’s shoulder.

“She’s a widow.”

Levi blinked.

“Oh.”

“She got married just a few months before the war broke out, Marco… her husband was in the army.  She got a letter a few weeks after I signed up saying he… we don’t even know what actually happened, just that he didn’t make it.  As soon as I finished training I wrote her telling her where I was being sent.  I think she must’ve signed up as a nurse the next day.”

The whole time Eren spoke, he didn’t look at Levi, eyes trained on some spot in the distance.

Levi watched as Eren’s throat bobbed as he tried to speak.

“He… Marco was a really good guy.  He looked out for everyone around him and he was really good to her.  He was good to everyone.”

Eren’s eyes had an emotion in them Levi hadn’t seen before.  He wondered if maybe he wasn’t the first man who had managed to grab Eren’s attention, whether the younger man knew it or not.

At this point, Levi realized he didn’t have a clue what to say or do now.

He tried anyway.

“You never mentioned you had a sister.” It sounded lame even to his own ears.

Eren glanced back at him, taken out of his thoughts.

“You don’t really talk about your family either.”

“I don’t have one.  My mother died when I was little and my uncle took me in.  He was a travelling salesman and I went around with him until I was fifteen.  He told me he was going on to the next town one day and I told him I was going to stay a while.  I haven’t seen him since.”

“…oh.”

There was an awkward air between them as neither quite knew how to continue the conversation.  Then, apparently, a thought struck Eren.  Levi could see it form in his mind by the way his eyebrows drew together and his eyes narrowed.

“You thought Mikasa and I were together… and yet you still thought it was a good idea to start sleeping with me?”  It sounded every bit the accusation it was.

Levi could feel himself cringe, knew Eren could see it before he could hide it.

“I’ll admit it wasn’t exactly… noble.  You would get her letters and… I’ve never been envious of someone before like that.  Every time you were reading what she wrote I just wanted…” this was probably the most honest thing he had ever said to Eren and he struggled to end his sentences.  He was breathing hard, hands fisting at his sides, and he felt all that awful jealously swirling in him like it had been since he had learned she existed.

Eren stared at him, seeing for probably the first time just a fraction of what he did to Levi.

“You really…” it was soft, barely spoken and Eren never finished.

“I love you.”  It was the first time he had said it out loud and it was hoarse and far too needy.

Eren jerked like Levi had just slapped him but he didn’t break eye contact, didn’t back away or try to leave.

“I still don’t understand why,” the younger soldier said in a voice barely above a murmur.

“Neither do I,” Levi admitted.

Eren’s mouth quirked up, like Levi had just said something funny.  His hand lifted towards Levi, fingertips just brushing across a cheekbone before guiding a few strands of hair away.

“So you were jealous because she wrote me letters.”  This time there was a definite hint of laughter in that voice.

“You would color up every time you read them,” Levi said, like it was obvious that he would be concerned over that.

Eren leaned back a bit as a grin spread over his face and he dug around in a pocket until he pulled out an envelope, tinged with dirt.  He pulled the letters out, unfolded them and offered them to Levi.

“Here.”

Levi glanced down, taking the papers and his eyes scanned over the precise lines of text.

It was silent for a few moments.

“She really reminds you to wash there?” he asked, lifting his head to look at Eren with a crooked brow.

The younger soldier shifted awkwardly.

“It’s more accurate to say I have two mothers than to say I have a sister.”

Levi glanced back down before folding the letters and stuffing them in his own pocket.

“Hey!  Those are mine!”

Levi held him back with an arm. 

“I think I’m going to read them aloud to you later.  Maybe in front of Kirschtein.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

Levi smirked.

“You’re right, I wouldn’t.  At least the part about Kirschtein anyway.”

Eren tried to look irritated, but failed.  After a moment, he tipped his head back to rest against the trench wall behind him, gaze steady on Levi with an intensity the older man wasn’t used to having focused solely on him.

“Come home with me.”

Levi froze.

“What brought this on?” his words were careful, his chest frozen.  If his heart were to beat, it would crack and break.

“Come home with me,” he repeated, serious.

“Eren…” the warning was clear in Levi’s voice.  Hope was something he hadn’t been stupid enough to try to hold.

“Don’t give me that tone.  I’ve thought about it.”  That determination did not waver.

“For how long?”

“A while now.”

Levi stared him down, but he doubted how intimidating he actually was considering his face was likely covered in mild panic.

“I’ve been thinking about it,” Eren insisted, “and it didn’t seem right to just end this,” he waved between the two of them, “when it feels like it’s going right.”

Levi had the absurd urge to check his pulse.  There was no way his heart was still beating.

“…and if it stops going right?” he asked, hesitantly.

“Then we end it.”

“What if it keeps going right?  What will we do then?” his voice was starting to sound strained and desperate, his ribs prickling with something close to fear.  If he had dared to want beyond the trenches, this was it.  Having it offered left him in a curious state of apprehension, waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

“We’ll be roommates.  Lots of bachelors have roommates.  You saved my life and didn’t have a place to go after the war so I brought you home, no one will question it.”

“What will we do for work?  I didn’t exactly have steady employment before the war.”

“Can you work a plow?  I was a farmhand before the war.  You can work with me for Armin’s grandpa on his farm.  He’s always looking for extra hands.”

Levi paused, a sudden thought occurring to him.

“Does Arlert know about us?”

Eren had the decency to flush deeply.

“Not much gets by him,” Eren said after a beat.

Levi was beginning to suspect that they were the worst kept secret in the camp.  They were fortunate they hadn’t been officially reported.  Homosexual acts were illegal in most of Europe and under some commands it could get you hung.

Levi stepped away from Eren, head muddled with knotted strings.  He had never considered this possibility, certainly not in earnest.  Eren had never seemed to fully accept the way Levi had felt, so it had seemed pointless.  Yet now, the younger soldier had an entire future thought out and planned to include Levi. 

It was surreal and not unlike being hit with an artillery shell.  Levi was reeling.  His internal world was crumbling, shifting around and trying to rebuild.

“I meant what I said.” Eren was looking at him, seriously.

“I thought you didn’t want that.”  _I thought you didn’t want me._

Eren stepped close to him, hand reaching up to sweep some of Levi’s hair back from his face.

“I don’t really know what I want,” he confessed, “but I know that sometimes when I look at you it hurts and I don’t really understand why.  When you told me the war was over and I thought that I wouldn’t see you again, that hurt.  Whatever you are to me, it’s clearly _something_.  I don’t know if that’s enough, but it’s enough to make me want to see it through.”

Levi looked back into vibrant green eyes that were gazing at him as softly as someone like Eren could.

“You’re a sap.”

Eren blinked, startled.  Then a grin split his face.

“Yeah, I guess I am.  Are you going to come home with me?” 

Levi turned away and couldn’t explain why his heart felt like it was breaking and bursting at the same time.  He absently wondered how many times Eren was going to ask.  Levi was certain he must be the biggest idiot in the camp when he realized that he hadn’t actually accepted the offer yet.

“I might as well.  I doubt you’ll leave me alone until I agree.”

-

When Levi climbed in after Eren into the back of Hannes’ truck, he was still somewhat in disbelief.  He settled next to Eren with Armin seated across from him and did his best to avoid the blue-eyed gaze.  He settled his eyes on Eren instead, who was shifting around and trying to get comfortable.  It was an impossible task.

The metal was too hard and too cold this late in the year to be accommodating. 

“If you keep looking at him like that, you won’t fool anyone,” Armin observed.

Levi’s head snapped towards the blond soldier, who looked neither amused, nor reproachful.  Eren looked back and forth between the two.

“Like what?” Eren asked.

“Like you’re the only thing in his universe.”

Levi could practically felt the heat radiating from Eren’s blush.  Glancing away from Armin seemed like an intelligent tactical retreat. 

He knew without looking that green eyes were on him, widened and ridiculously pretty as they blinked. 

“That’s how you look at me?”

“What do you mean?  You see me look at you all the time.  I don’t look at you in any particular way,” Levi said, turning back to face him when he was certain that he had his expression under control.

“You aren’t much better, Eren,” Armin cut in and they both whipped their heads towards him.

“He doesn’t look at me like that,” Levi said automatically.  He would know, he had spent months dreaming that he’d be shown any kind of meaningful affection.  He would have definitely seen.  He thought, anyway. 

Armin took in their surprise, arching a brow.

“You two are idiots, aren’t you?”

The blond cringed under the matched glares.

“Or maybe I’m just seeing things?”

“I would say you are,” Levi said lowly in warning.  The young man across from him nodded, voice gone. 

Eren shifted beside him and Levi felt a hand rest on his knee fleetingly, whether in support or admonishment for his unfriendly behavior wasn’t exactly clear.  He tingled at the contact, steadied regardless.

The rest of the trip towards town was quiet and it was with some surprise that Levi found them pulling up to and stopping at the hospital he had briefly been admitted to some months back.  Waiting was a young, dark haired woman and Levi felt his stomach internally clench. 

Hannes parked the truck and climbed out, taking the packed bag that had been resting on the ground beside her and hoisting it up into the back of the truck.  There were some words exchanged that Levi couldn’t quite make out over the idle of the engine and then Hannes was assisting Mikasa into the bed of the truck with the three men.

“You know we have to go to the base first for a week or two to get out-processed.  You don’t have to wait for us, you can go on ahead,” Eren said once she was seated.  His voice held the tone of someone who was stubbornly clinging to an argument they were well aware they had already lost.

He was ignored.

“Are you sure you don’t want to sit in the cab with Hannes?  It’s warmer,” Armin asked her.

“I’ll be fine,” she dismissed, then her eyes landed on Levi and the weight of her gaze unsettled him inwardly.  “I hear you’ll be joining us.”

It was said conversationally, but her voice lacked the warmth it held when she spoke to Eren and Armin.

Levi found himself reevaluating the brief conversations he previously had with the woman under the lens of her not as a jealous fiancée, but as a big, burly older brother with Eren as the beloved little sister.  He could suddenly understand why she had villainized him.  Her distrust was evident.

“Eren says he knows of some work for me,” Levi replied.  He felt like he had to navigate this conversation carefully.  She was Eren’s family and while the first impressions had already come and somewhat failed, he had to at least try for civility, if not cordiality. 

“The Arlert farm,” she said, obviously aware of the basic details.

“We’re set up to stay in one of the out-buildings,” Eren said.  According to the younger man, there were a couple of old, but serviceable structures on the farm that had housed hired hands in years past.  It wouldn’t be unusual for two men to share one while they worked at the farm.

“You’ve made up your mind then?” Mikasa turned to her brother and Levi knew what she was really asking.

“Yes.  You have something to say about it?”

“Not really.”

Her general acceptance was that simple and Levi almost felt as if he had been preparing for a blizzard and all he got were a few flakes of snow.

-

Two weeks later and the three men were walking down the driveway towards a farmhouse, frost crunching under their boots.  They were bundled up in coats and had found thick gloves and hats to keep out the chill.  Eren had eventually convinced Mikasa to travel by train ahead of them, with the promise of a visit within the first week of their arrival.

“My grandfather said he’d keep a pot of soup on the stove all day until we showed up so we’ll have something to eat right way,” Armin said brightly.  It was hard to mistake the fondness in his eyes as they swept over every remembered corner of the building they were walking up to.  “I don’t know why it looks different, when nothing’s changed.”

“We changed,” Eren said in one of those rare moments of philosophical awareness that always took his companions by surprise.

The door of the house swung open then and an old man walked out on to the porch.  They had barely climbed the steps when his arms reached out and grabbed Armin, pulling him into a tight hug.

“My boy,” he breathed, voice teetering on the edge of broken.  He pulled away and his worn hands settled on Armin’s face, water pooling at the corners of his eyes.  There was a long moment where Levi wasn’t sure where to look, only felt as if he were intruding on something private.

Then the man turned to Eren, a hand settling on top of his hair and ruffling it fondly.

“Good to see you again Eren, and I take it this is Levi?”

Armin had written ahead about the farm help his grandfather could expect.

“Pleased to meet you,” Levi said awkwardly sticking his arm out.  He quickly found his hand in a firm grip, the older man’s rough one shaking his.

“Same.  Why don’t you and Eren go get set up in the out-building while I get the table ready.  I’m sure you boys are hungry.”

“I can’t wait,” Eren grinned as he hopped down from the porch, gesturing at Levi to follow. 

“In the morning we’ll chop firewood for Mr. Arlert and milk the cows and goats, but then we’re going to head in to town to see my parents,” Eren said as he led him around the back of the house and past a barn to a lining of trees sheltering a few small, squat buildings.  Levi filed the pending meeting in the back of his mind to panic about after dinner as Eren pushed open the door of a building that looked a bit more like a cabin than the others.  He followed, pausing at the threshold to survey.

There was a wood stove along the side wall for heat and a short cupboard with a countertop that had a basin sink set into it.  An indoor water pump faucet extended over the basin and a new bar of soap was placed on top of a neatly folded washrag next to it.  Closer to the door was a table and a couple of chairs.  A low shelf with a couple of books and not much else sat by the table and another near the stove with a pot, and pan, a few dishes and utensils, a few glasses, and a box of matches on its shelves. 

Through an open door at the back of the room Levi could two quilt-covered beds at the back wall and an unstained, homemade wardrobe sat between them.  There were windows with old, but clean curtains politely closed and two closed doors, one presumably leading to a bathing facility.

It looked like it had been freshly swept and dusted, the inside blessedly free of dirt, which Levi appreciated with his entire being. The cabin was small and and simple, but it was clean, warm, and it had Eren, so it would do.

“In the past, we usually ate meals in the farmhouse with Armin and his grandfather, but there’s a larder over here, just in case,” Eren pointed to one of the doors, “actually it’s a larder and a coat closet.”

Levi stepped further in and closed the door behind him, surprised to note that it was actually comfortably warm in the cabin and Armin’s grandfather must have started a small fire in the stove for them.

“Firewood should be stacked outside around the corner, and the washing room is right there,” he pointed to the other door, “that’s about it.”

Levi walked over to one of the beds and set his pack at the foot of it, then turned to Eren who was watching him, and oddly anxious look on his face.

“What?”

“Nothing, it’s just that we’re here.  Home sweet home.”

Levi smiled a little and walked up to Eren, arms lifting up and sliding the straps of Eren’s pack off his shoulders.  It fell to the ground behind him with a loud thump.

Before Eren could say anything, Levi stepped in closer, reaching a hand up to pull Eren down to him.  Their lips met and Levi exhaled in relief, pressing in against Eren’s chest.

Hands settled on his shoulders and Levi pulled back to nip at Eren’s jaw before kissing back up to his mouth.  He was soft, but insistent.

Eren let him, hands sliding down Levi’s arms before falling to his hips to grip tightly.

They broke apart slowly, reluctantly.

“I’d like to continue,” Eren breathed, “but they’ll wonder why we’re not coming in to eat.”

Levi huffed out a laugh.

“We’ll have plenty of time later.”

“Levi?”

“What?”

“I’m glad you came back with me.  I… I would have missed you and, uh-”

Levi interrupted him with another slow, deep kiss in response to the upwell of affection swimming in his body.

“Why don’t you just admit you’re in love with me?” Levi smirked playfully when he pulled away, emboldened with the surreal feeling of being surrounded by warm walls and safety instead of damp trenches and bullets.  He was finding himself overtaken by a sudden bout of good humor.

Eren’s response was to blush deeply and look away.

Levi raised an eyebrow and leaned back a little further, his heart erratically pounding as he watched the younger man anxiously scratch behind his ear.

“I don’t know if that’s what this feeling is or not-”

“Eren,” Levi interrupted again, “I was joking.”  Now _his_ face was colored up red, he could feel the heat stinging his cheeks and an odd electric thrill was running through him.  He was fairly certain he had a stupid, sappy expression on his face.

Without warning, Eren faced him with a determined set to his shoulder and a nervous look on his face. Then he leaned down and pressed a quick, firm kiss to the older man’s mouth.  Levi jolted.  It was the first time Eren had initiated affection like that and it surprised him.

He stared back, his eyes stupidly wide as Eren cast his gaze to the side again, avoiding looking at him.

“I just wanted to.  You looked… I like it when you blush,” He said to the stove.  Then those fierce green eyes were on him again, daring him to say anything about that.

Levi didn’t know how to respond to that.  All he knew was that he had fallen so deep for this man that there was no hope of resurfacing.

“C’mon,” Levi spoke, “they’ll be wondering where we are.”

As they walked out the door, Eren suddenly grabbed his wrist quick and squeezed it before letting go again.

“I’m happy,” he said simply, attempting to encompass everything between them.

“Me too,” Levi replied and he smiled affectionately, heart finally at ease. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I feel the title of this one was doubly appropriate. I'm excited to finally have finished this series. I had been stuck on this particular installment for months, so it's really a relief. I don't know if I quite managed all the atmosphere and emotions I was aiming for, but hopefully you all like it as much as you did the rest of the series. 
> 
> Also, happy ending! I know some of you were worried about that.
> 
> Thank you for all of you who have stuck with me from the start of this series and patiently saw it through to the end and everyone who jumped on the bandwagon since. This is dedicated to all of you.


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